MGTOW and Dating

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MGTOW and Dating

Postby TDG » Wed Dec 31, 2014 2:44 pm

From another thread;

demonsgate wrote:Tdg it would be nice for brothers who date if you explained how you have kept the GF at bay with all a womans typical bullshit. I.E. Baby Rabies, Shit tests, Marriage etc. Would be beneficial for a lot of younger brothers who I've seen could use your Game School.


So first and foremost, I am not a lawyer or doctor, this is purely my own thoughts on the subjects based on my anecdotal evidence, so don't ask for any peer reviewed anything. Also note that this is in the dating section so comments of 'who cares?' are not exactly needed. This is put here for a reason.

I'm also going to do my best to not use 'red pill' or PUA terminology.

Now that's out of the way...

I've been with my current girl over a year. She's just slightly north of her mid twenties and I'm 32.

Now, all relationships start with you. You have to decide what are unbreakable rules and just how much shit you are willing to take. Yes, even the good women give shit. That's just part of what women are.

I only place one restriction on my girl; monogamy. Note the term; 'restriction' instead of 'rule' or 'law'. It may sound like semantics to us, but they all mean completely different things to women.

She can do what she wants, when she wants, as long as she stays monogamous. I can't force her to stay monogamous, or spy on her 24/7 to ensure she is, but if I found out she strayed, then she's dropped. She knows this.

I also employ two tools most of the time just because they are part of my personality. I relentlessly tease her (which is completely different to belittling her. You need to know the difference if you're going to do this). I also instil dread in her by letting her know that if I don't get what I want, then I'll go elsewhere. This doesn't mean she's forced to do things she doesn't want to do, but if she chooses to spend time with me, then there's a 90% chance I will want sex with her at some point. If she turns down your advances and can't give a legitimate reason, then you tell her that she's being difficult and that she should go home. Note, the term 'difficult' instead of 'bitch' or 'cunt'. Again, it may be semantics to us men, but it makes a world of difference to women. That works 99% of the time to change their attitude because of the dread that if she does leave, you'll go bang someone else. This may sound like she's going to begrudgingly have sex with you, but that's not the point, she 's doing it because she wants to make you happy and that is what puts her in the mood.

Shit tests I find easy due to a combination of not dealing with bullshit as part of my personality, and growing up with a single mother and sister. The easiest thing to do is either call them out on their hypocrisy or to just ignore them, but if you are doing the former, make sure it's only the two of you. It's too easy for White Knights and the sisterhood to get together if they are around at the time and then they'll gang up on you.

Never, ever, ever, ever, be afraid to speak your mind when you are one on one. This doesn't mean forcing your opinion on her, but if she's engaging in a conversation with you, be absolutely honest. My girl doesn't like a few of my ideas, but if pushed, I will explain things to her and not relent.

On the topic of explaining things, do it once and do it concisely and then move on. Women have a tendency to get stuck on a point and then The Hamster spins. You cannot defeat The Hamster so don't engage. If you get sucked in, you will get demolished. If you 'win' the argument, you'll still lose because 'feelings' and if you lose, their vagina dries up.

For example, my girl is always 10-15 mins late for everything and one day she was 45 mins late so when she arrived at my place, I told her that I expect her to be on time and to not treat me with such disrespect. I then quickly moved on, let it go, gave her a hug and a kiss and continued as if she was on time. She brought the point up an hour later and I just cut her off saying there was nothing more to be said and that it's done with.

When it comes to their bad habits, you have to decide what is worth it or not. I abhor tardiness, but she's consistently 10-15 mins late but that's not a fight I'm prepared to have so instead, if something we do is time sensitive, I just tell her 30 mins early. Many times, working with them is far more productive than trying to get them conform to what you want.

You also have to 'punish' them if they break their word. Like I said, my girl can do what she wants, when she wants, as long she stays monogamous, but when she makes plans, she can never break them (except for a genuine reason). If they do, then you go no contact until they contact you and when they do, you act like nothing is wrong.

When they are out of town, don't contact them, let them contact you. If she's out of town and thinks you are always going to be there, The Hamster can justify straying. When she does contact you, keep it brief.

Remain mysterious is another one. I sometimes get a text asking 'what are you up to tonight?'. I've noted that when in a relationship, they send this because they are checking up on you. Respond with something stupid. I always go onto google and find a stupid meme like one saying 'living the dream'. She doesn't know you're sitting in your apartment and playing video games, she just wants assurance you're not fucking another girl. The content of the text doesn't matter, it's the sending the text itself.

On the subject of texts, texts are for brief interactions only, they are not for conversations so don't get embroiled in one. The phone is the same thing. Conversations are face to face. It's exceedingly difficult to give them the 'gina tingles unless it's in person. Also, be random with you text message replies. I've waited many hours and sometimes even days to get back to her. The point of this, is if she is nearby, you give her attention, if she isn't and there's no chance you'll see her because she's out of town, working, etc, then you withdraw attention. You're letting her know that her physical presence is required for emotional support without being overt about it. Women hate overt. The medium is the message for them.

As far as sex goes, take complete and utter control. Due to the issue of 'consent' now, I've gotten into the habit of making them ask for things out loud before you start engaging. During the actual act, you have to treat her like a piece of meat most of the time. It's just the way they are wired. Once you're done, then you go back to treating her like a human being. Get to know her cues too. It's been my experience that unless a women says 'no', then she means yes. I know that isn't PC, but it's reality.

As far as picking good women go, the ones that have been the sweetest to me and wanted to please me all had fathers in their lives. The ones that don't tend to have bad Daddy issues that make them wildly unpredictable or hate male authority with a vengeance.

The only golden rule is to never be afraid to walk away. Women can detect if you'll drop them or not.

There's probably more but those are the main points.

If you want me to clarify or expand on a point, just ask.

If you have a question about something I didn't cover, just ask.

If you have a particular scenario you want input on, just ask.

Like I mentioned, this is merely what I have found to work in my experience. Some guys might think it's too much work, but I don't and I find my life to be very stress free with her. I like women. I like the way they smell, taste, think, and act. They are different to men and need to be handled differently. Once you understand that, dealing with them is pretty easy.
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Last edited by TDG on Thu Jan 01, 2015 3:09 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Solipsism is a feature and not a bug. - TDG

In the long run, men making themselves happy makes women happy. Men trying to please women makes women miserable. Source: all of human history. - fairi5fair

There is nothing women ruin with such predictability as their own lives. - Alpha Game

She's not yours, she's just your turn. - Dudeist Priest
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby corvair61 » Wed Dec 31, 2014 3:06 pm

Excellent post.

They really are pretty simple.

Do many of these things and she wants more of you and generally doesn't gripe.

Keep her wondering if you'll leave and you can actually have a good woman, if there is such a thing.

The alternative can be seen all around us.

Mine has been with me two years yesterday and I can still tolerate her, but only because much of what TDG says here is SOP.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby hasmat » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:25 pm

I agree completely. My GF and I have been together three years. We live together.

She has three kids and splits the time 50/50 with her ex. She has to pay him child support because she makes more than he does (he didn't graduate high school). He lives about a half hour away. He filed for divorce. Although she would have been granted about $25K in the settlement, she took nothing. She has never spoken ill of the kids father in front of them and seldom slams him except for how she says he treated her. I got to see this firsthand. They just didn't get along. Her kids all have the same father and they were married for @10 years.

My girlfriend is extremely intelligent. Read: Mensa level (like me). She has a professional job as a supervisor in a (predominately female 90%+) medical field. She is acutely aware of the shit women do, the drama they desire, and the the inability of most to accept the consequences of their own bad decisions.

Our relationship started on a good note. I fucked this young 20 something that was one of a few dozen that responded to a very well written ad I put on Craigslist. Yes, if you hit the right notes, women will come to you. Anyhow, I didn't hit it off with the younger girl. We had nothing in common and I didn't find her attractive enough to continue past ONS. I texted her
about a week later with a good morning. She asked why I was texting her (obviously, she felt no connection with me, either). I told her I just wanted to say "hello". She said she knew someone that I should meet. She worked with my gf and gave me her number.

I had a date that night with a girl who I had been with a few times. That girl flaked for the first time. I called my gf and asked her if she would want to come over and watch a movie at my place, since my date cancelled. We made it about ten minutes into the movie. I guess we are still on our first date as we have been together ever since. It's clear that it's hard to keep a woman unless they think you are wanted (or are desired) by another girl, too.

I don't have any serious complaints about her. She does use way more toilet paper than required (hat tip to the Papal Monkey). We don't have any joint financial accounts and wouldn't consider getting married to .gov. She is well aware that cheating on me would be a deal breaker. The house is in her name and I pay my share of the expenses.

Her kids are very well mannered (due to having both parents involved in their lives) and treat me far better than my own kids do.

Out of mutual respect, we don't tell each other what to do, what not to do, how to spend money, etc. I rarely get involved with parenting her kids. I don't need to.

The key is to set firm ground rules and stick to them. Don't follow them around in a needy fashion. If something is bothering them, ask them one time what their issue is. If they say "nothing", walk away. Don't get sucked in.

I am late 40s, she is mid 40s. I had a vas a decade ago, so pregnancy isn't an issue.

We can disagree without getting into a fight. I'm very worried if a girl always agrees with me because that means she is lying.

She cooks and cleans, is always prompt, and fun in the bedroom. I'd say we have averaged sex every day. As I get older, my sex drive has decreased slightly, but she still turns me on.

I've been with far more women than she has had male partners. i find her attractive and she has the nicest set of tits I have ever seen. That says a lot. Ive seen alot. The important thing is to not base your self worth on the amount of pussy you get. That allows them to use it as a weapon. We both enjoy sex with each other, so denying the other would be denying ourselves that pleasure.

You have to be friends and willing to be partners. You also have to know that you could walk away if they start cheating or any other reason they would throw the relationship away. Her phone isn't password protected. She doesn't delete her browsing history and has never given me any reason to not trust her.

Her parents are still together. They just left after visiting us for Christmas. I like them and they like me. She also has a twin sister. Her parents drink and smoke, as I do. My gf will drink, but doesn't smoke.

We are both flawed people. We encourage each other as part of a team.

TDG was spot on with his post. If you find a woman who is decent, it will work until it doesn't. Sometimes it keeps working, but only when you make sacrifices for the other. My GF is not now, and never has been, a feminist, a bitch or a whore.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby Fray Bentos » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:32 am

I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby corvair61 » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:47 am

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


I told mine on the very first night we met. " I will never marry you and I will never say I love you".This was after a few hours of having a good time together.

I laid many other things out that night (one was that I do not recognize Valentines Day) about how I thought and how this relationship could proceed.

It still probably came off harsh, but I wanted to be honest up front.

A few times (not many) over the two years when she has sounded upset with me I pull out the First Day card. I tell her I told her how it will be and that is how it is. I tell her she has options just like I do.

She did say one day, "If I left you wouldn't even care" . I told her she's right.

In those moments I know I come off as a real fucking prick, and I don't care.

If she needs to cry she does it out of my sight. I don't want to see it. That first day I told her she needs a friend she can cry to because I would never ever have a "talk" about her feelings.

She has never said "I love you" and I doubt she will, so I have never had to reply to your hypothetical.

We passed the two year mark the last week of 14 and we get along fine.

It is working for me, and she is still around so I'll assume it is working for her.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby Phathack » Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:55 am

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


I had been dating with woman for several years and not too long after she moved into my house I sad those three words to her and that was the exact moment that the relationshit started going downhill. It too about another year beore I asked here to move out. The last thing I remember her saying was she wanted to be a free and independent woman living in the city.

It was a result yet another failed relationshit that I finally accepted the reality of The Red Pill and eventually found my way to MGTOW. Today I live peacefully in my suburban home and I intend to never get involved with any woman again.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby hasmat » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:42 pm

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


We tell each other we love the other quite often. It doesn't mean you should run out and marry.

It's never complicated anything.
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You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power - he's free again.

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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby TDG » Wed Jan 07, 2015 12:56 pm

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


From the OP;

TDG wrote:The only golden rule is to never be afraid to walk away. Women can detect if you'll drop them or not.


If you're putting in more than you are getting out, then walk away.
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Solipsism is a feature and not a bug. - TDG

In the long run, men making themselves happy makes women happy. Men trying to please women makes women miserable. Source: all of human history. - fairi5fair

There is nothing women ruin with such predictability as their own lives. - Alpha Game

She's not yours, she's just your turn. - Dudeist Priest
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby Jackalope » Mon Jan 12, 2015 11:43 am

Excellent perspective TDG. A must-read for any boys on this thread who haven't completely eschewed women. It's not terribly difficult to maintain a relationship prior to marriage. It becomes very difficult once married as dread is no longer an option (in fact, she often takes control of the dread.)

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


Hah. Those aren't the words you need to worry about. Being in love is fun. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Bad stuff comes in four words:

Where is this going?

I missed my period.
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Re: MGTOW and Dating

Postby dubya » Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:57 pm

Fray Bentos wrote:I have a question for any long term relationship MGTOW.

At some point it is inevitable that you will find yourself lying in bed, having a meal, drinking some wine, going for a walk or some such activity; then three little words will be shared with you. What then, what the next day, the next month, the next year?

I base my question on my belief that women will more often than not say what they want to hear. From the first "I Love You" things would probably get a lot more complicated; unless of course its reciprocated.


There's an alpha way and a beta way to do things.

The alpha way is "I love you" but I'll still boot you
The beta way is "I love you" and I would die if you leave me

Basically as long as you don't let yourself get one-itis, you're good to go.
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