Dating Profiles Assertions Translated

Discussions on all aspects of dating and dating sites such as POF, OKC, etc.

Dating Profiles Assertions Translated

Postby Chef » Sat Aug 27, 2016 9:04 am

A CL user posted this in response to a woman who posted how shitty men are on dating sites. Most of the responses were the typical crack head delusional babble but this guy knocks it out of the park!!

Typical things chicks say about themselves on CL and dating sites & what it really means:

"I love music, shopping, reading, long walks on the beach, museums and dining out" = Has no real interests.

"I am a walking contradiction" = Can't think straight, doesn't know herself and thinks that is interesting to others.

"I am feisty and fiercely independent" = inconsolable bitch with no friends. Again, somehow interesting ...

"I am extremely intelligent" = Is too stupid to realize how dumb that actually sounds to everybody else.

"I am extremely attractive" = Has learned well how to see things her way and block everything else out.

"Not into drama" = Until withdrawal or PMS kicks in.

"I am extremely honest" = Has no tact or refinement.

"I am always happy, confident and optimistic" = Thanks to a full team of mental health professionals and Prozac.

"Needs to be sexually dominated" = Biological daddy no longer in the picture.

"Needs someone who can keep up" = Keep up with all my needs and wants.

"Loves to travel" = You better have a lot of money so I can travel.

"I have a bucket list" = I am an organized wannabe.

"Has everything but the man" = I am perfect but, still, no one wants me.

"I am well educated" = Thinks a good memory is the same thing as intelligence.

"Needs a real man's man" = someone to do all the thinking and be responsible for all the decisions.

"No FWB, womanizers or players" = Exactly what I am subconsciously attracted to . . . every time.

"Seeking partner in crime" = Has no idea what a real relationship actually consists of.

"50+ seeking soulmate/prince charming" = Has no idea that ship sailed three decades ago.

"BBW" = Huge globs, mounds and rolls of pale formless cottage cheese behind all those enormous curtains.

"Curvy" = Huge globs, mounds and rolls of pale formless cottage cheese behind all those enormous curtains.

"SSBBW" = honest but, at this point, no longer matters.

"Average" = Fat.

"Athletic" = Fat.

"Thin" = Can't carry the groceries.

"Skinny" = Still . . . no groceries but little plastic bags and pill bottles . . . no problem.

No mention = Fat.

No location indicated = Too far away for a dude to bother or not smart enough to realize the relativity.

Well Balanced = Totally imbalanced and fake.
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Re: Dating Profiles Assertions Translated

Postby WheelBarrow » Sat Aug 27, 2016 9:41 am

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up from when I was checking out profiles years ago. It's bad enough that they lie to us but it's worse that they lie to themselves and believe it!
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