Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

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Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Sam I Am » Fri Aug 19, 2016 11:44 am

Bored at the office today, so I thought I'd go to POF for laughs... thought I'd share some findings for shits and gigs.

Search criteria is just age 30 to 52 (why? just random I guess) and within 35 miles of me. oh, and only slim/athletic/avg body types.

all typos and grammar errors and such are not mine.

Hi, I am a 35 year old single female. I am easy going. I like to go shopping when it is possible. Lol.


Sarcastic Realist w/ a coffee fetish ---- I change my hair color as often as my underwear. I work in a predominantly male field so I'm pretty sure I can take what you dish out. Jameson is my friend and ink is my theraphy. I have a cat but I'm not a cat lady. I love eating healthy and have pizza at least once a week. I live alone, but my friends don't know that.


when men have a good idea a woman gave it to them! ---- I am a brutally honest woman that says what i feel so there will be no room for doubt!!! I am 37 years old never married (not lookng to be (EVER again!!). I do not have or ever want kids. I have never liked kids at all I also do not like sports. I can be the worst nightmare a man can have. I am educated, independent, opinionated, out spoken and very demanding I am very honest in every thing I say or do. I say and do as I please and no man will ever change that!


my family and friends come first!

so much for the boyfriend, eh?

I enjoy being pampered somewhat.


I'm a work in progress


I am mistress Patricia. I live in ________ where I own a blacksmith shop.


WOW. haha.

My next ex husband is going to be way better! ---- "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.


Classy, sassy, and maybe a bit smart assy ;)


Never make offers you can't live up to! ---- I am ________. I am a lady truck driver I have a degree in chemical engineering ! am a 37 years old woman Never married (I HAVE NO PLANS ON EVER BEING MARRIED!!) I do not have any kids (I really do not like kids)

blah blah blah... this is actually the same woman from above who said 'when men have a good idea they got it from a woman'.. but in that other profile, she said she was a farmer. lol

Hmmm. I hate this thing but hear goes... I'm a single mom of 3 kids who come first for me. I have them all the time as their dad isnt really around so if that's a problem keep scrolling.

... the fuck she doing on a dating site if she's got 3 kids at home all the fucking time?

I'm sarcastic as hell, educated, independent, opinionated and enjoy my alone time!

the fuck is SHE doing on a dating site, then? oh... maybe that's code that she's only DTF... I dunno.

Where's my knight in shiny armor?? --- WHAT I EXPECT: First and foremost.. I'm a mother of 2 amazing boys, my kids are my everything! They will always come 1st, and that will NEVER CHANGE!!! If thats a problem then move along!


I only date within my race. I use cuss words like adjectives. not into sugar coating very blunt and to the point, my sarcasm comes off as being rude sometimes. that's all i got at the moment.

whoops... work calls...

hope y'all got a good laugh out of all that.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Max the lagomorph » Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:49 pm

I can be the worst nightmare a man can have.


Of course you can... you are a woman!
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby fester » Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:50 pm

Holy shit...things are even worse than I imagined out there.
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fester is one of "the beautiful ones"

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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby The Signal » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:03 pm

Huh.

I honestly always thought it was a maladjusted few young men who went around saying juvenile things like "I say whatever I want" and "I'll never let anyone change me." But in this early 21st century, it seems, the new self-centered baboon is the woman.

♫ Ch-ch-ch-changes! Turn and face the strange... ♪
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby WheelBarrow » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:08 pm

fester wrote:Holy shit...things are even worse than I imagined out there.


That kind of crap has been around for well over a decade. Only the volume has increased.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Demosthenes » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:09 pm

I had to laugh at this one. The Derp is strong with this one.

I am 37 years old never married (not lookng to be (EVER again!!).


So has she never married or has she decided to never marry again. :lol:

My kids are number one - My kids come first...

I love how they make these statements about how they prioritize themselves and their kids, as if they'd ever put the man in their life first. A man is not going to make the top ten in her priorities if she already has kids. A man would be lucky to make the top ten these days even if she is single/no kids.

Even if a man is in the top ten, just wait. She will shift her priorities when she decides she can take him for granted and abuse and demean him at will, slowly at first, and then increasingly. That's when her honest prioritizations occur and she knocks him down her list of priorities to where she intended for him to be to begin with.



"I take care of my kids!" - I've heard this said. Chris Rock talking about it was funny as hell. The women I have heard say it - were not black, so never make the mistake of thinking this is racial. It goes well beyond the pigment of one's skin.

Reminds me of bitches who say shit like this...
I ain't never been to jail!
I know who the father of my kids are!

You're not supposed to go to fucking jail. You should know who the father of your fucking kids are. These are not fucking accomplishments to exclaim vehemently to others.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Sam I Am » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:31 pm

"my kids come first"


women use that shit on men, but they still expect and demand a single dad give them priority over his kids.

my money is my money and our money is my money.
heads i win, tails you lose.

shit never changes.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby MrPragmatic » Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:33 pm

Life's 3 givens:

Death
Taxes
Bottom feeder trash on POF
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Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler....
I could set the building on fire.

No wife, happy life.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby hansmoleman » Fri Aug 19, 2016 5:52 pm

Sarcastic Realist w/ a coffee fetish ---- I change my hair color as often as my underwear. I work in a predominantly male field so I'm pretty sure I can take what you dish out. Jameson is my friend and ink is my theraphy. I have a cat but I'm not a cat lady. I love eating healthy and have pizza at least once a week. I live alone, but my friends don't know that.


HAHAHAHAHA

LMAO

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

HOLY SHIT .. THESE WOMEN.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Sam I Am » Sat Aug 20, 2016 2:17 am

hansmoleman wrote:
Sarcastic Realist w/ a coffee fetish ---- I change my hair color as often as my underwear. I work in a predominantly male field so I'm pretty sure I can take what you dish out. Jameson is my friend and ink is my theraphy. I have a cat but I'm not a cat lady. I love eating healthy and have pizza at least once a week. I live alone, but my friends don't know that.


HAHAHAHAHA

LMAO

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

HOLY SHIT .. THESE WOMEN.


I think that might have been my favorite find, too
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Sam I Am » Sat Aug 20, 2016 2:18 am

I think whenever you guys are bored, go to pof and post here what you got in your area!!
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Hoser » Sat Aug 20, 2016 7:54 am

"Jameson is my friend and ink is my theraphy."

LOL, that one that sentence alone tells you she is fucking batshit crazy.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby ZionDweller » Sat Aug 20, 2016 8:38 pm

They all sound very similar, maybe they should all have a get together. Unfortunately, none of them are more fun than my mini itx.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Calloway » Sat Aug 20, 2016 11:43 pm

I can be the worst nightmare a man can have.


Really, do you need a better warning?

When a woman says something like this about herself, believe her.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Mr. Fenrir » Sun Aug 21, 2016 6:55 am

Apart from the differance in name almost all of the women are the same on that site.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby The Signal » Sun Aug 21, 2016 12:20 pm

Calloway wrote:
I can be the worst nightmare a man can have.


Really, do you need a better warning?

When a woman says something like this about herself, believe her.

Yeah, what is this about? I've been seeing this crop up for several years now, and it has never made a stitch of sense to me. How is a woman announcing "I'm a bad person to date" supposed to make her more attractive??? What on Earth are they thinking when they write such stuff?
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Slade » Sun Aug 21, 2016 5:14 pm

The Signal wrote:
Calloway wrote:
I can be the worst nightmare a man can have.


Really, do you need a better warning?

When a woman says something like this about herself, believe her.

Yeah, what is this about? I've been seeing this crop up for several years now, and it has never made a stitch of sense to me. How is a woman announcing "I'm a bad person to date" supposed to make her more attractive??? What on Earth are they thinking when they write such stuff?


They're projecting. They think that because they are attracted to assholes that men in general are attracted to assholettes.

Sorry, cupcake. Men are attracted to:

A magnificent rack
A perfectly shaped ass
A narrow waist
A cute face
A "what can I do for you, my king?" attitude

We don't like:
Fatties
Chicks with kids
Chicks with attitudes
Post wall chicks

Those are known in the vernacular as "turn off"
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Calloway » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:23 am

Where's my knight in shiny armor?? --- WHAT I EXPECT...


The second part of that phrase explains the first part.
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Sam I Am » Tue Aug 23, 2016 10:39 am

[moved thread to Dating forum... didn't realize we had such a forum until now]
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Polk High Waterboy » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:28 pm

Here's the first thing I found in my neck of the woods:

"Wanted Real Mature Man for LTR NO fwb/nsa/sexting"

So for any of you who actually read this, I'm a no-nonsense kind of gal, I can sense your bullsh*tand I'm not down with playing on someone's emotions, so don't play with mine. Oh and stop saying I look like Jay Leno, it's not a compliment and the ***holes who think so, don't even!!
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby The Signal » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:46 pm

Polk High Waterboy wrote:Here's the first thing I found in my neck of the woods:

"Wanted Real Mature Man for LTR NO fwb/nsa/sexting"

So for any of you who actually read this, I'm a no-nonsense kind of gal, I can sense your bullsh*tand I'm not down with playing on someone's emotions, so don't play with mine. Oh and stop saying I look like Jay Leno, it's not a compliment and the ***holes who think so, don't even!!

Sounds like she's taken a few on the chin in her day.

*snk* *snk*
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Re: Funny shit from Plenty of Fish

Postby Alistair » Thu Aug 25, 2016 4:27 pm

Sam I Am wrote:I think whenever you guys are bored, go to pof and post here what you got in your area!!


:o

If you don't mind I'm going to make a point of never being bored!
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