I am a loser.

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I am a loser.

Postby Pendragon » Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:14 pm

I had a 2 day long sports tournament. Just got back today.
The 5 hour long drive there and back was enough time for me to think a lot about my life.

Basically I have given up on women before I have even finished high school. I haven't adventured with people (not for lack of trying), haven't smoked anything, never snuck out, and haven't even had anything to drink except some wine.

One of the guys I shared a room with for the sport (we stayed in a hotel) is almost the exact opposite. He went to the after-homecoming party. Has had a lot of high school flings, smoked, drank himself stupid quite a few times. Has a nice girlfriend etc..

He's doing well to himself in a few areas. Once he gets out of high school I don't think he will have a ton of regrets.. I know I will have wished I had a few things happen that I was just to shy/didn't have enough connections to do. I never have been to a party where sex and drinks and drugs are openly present. The last party I went to was the most boring thing I have ever attended.


I know that sex is over-rated... I know drugs and alcohol are as well but I really feel I missed out on the fun part of high school. I feel that I may have been a little too wrapped up in my studies/projects/the Internet. I still don't have many friends in the school. My closest friend is just a guy I see at the karate class I help see, have his number but we don't talk much.

Sorry for the depressing post. I don't feel blue pill twinges, I just kinda wish I experienced a little more (I know, I still have all year to go crazy but I feel that I really wouldn't want to go to those parties more than once anyways. I'm an introvert. I play fucking golf, I teach an obscure tech club. I'm no alpha. I have a good body and can defend myself from almost anyone but I don't have the aditude of an alpha bad boy thug.)

The guy who has done all that... He's shorter than me, less well built, seems less confident.. All it seems is he chose the 'right' group at the start of high school. Hell, I talked with him about this topic yesterday and he feelt that I was a lot more popular than I ever felt. I've had one girlfriend, never did anything with her and I honestly can't say I've made one life-long friend from that place.

If I had the option to be king of the place or burn it I would most likely burn it.



/rant.

Question is... Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?
I don't want validation it's just I have nowhere else that I feel I can voice any of this. I tried school councilers, they suck ass (because they are poorly trained 20 some women who are still on the carosell and don't give a shit about non-alpha teen boys) so I figured that the guys here would be my best option, you have been here before or, you were the other guy.

Thanks...
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Re: I am a looser.

Postby WorldWeary » Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:38 pm

I never had a drink or went to a party/dance until I went to college. I didn't have girlfriends. I played video games and watched anime. I wasn't in any school clubs or play any HS sports.

I don't regret any of it. HS is a shit show. There will be plenty of low-lifes for you to do drugs with and drink with later in life, if that is what you want to do.

The funniest thing in the world to me was watching the popular kids in HS get thrown in the bigger pond of college and trying to latch on to me because I was a familiar face.

In college, the guys on my dorm room floor absorbed me into their group of friends and I went clubbing multiple times a week with them. I failed out because I wasn't used to NOT having my asshole dad make me get straight As. Watch out for that. I suggest not smoking or getting into hardcore drugs. I'm glad I never got into all that. I watched a few people spiral out of control.

You have plenty of time to make the mistakes your peers are making right now. With any luck, you'll be a little older and wiser when you make them and won't screw your life up permanently. Extra points if you completely avoid destructive vices and get your endorphin fix from doing things that are good for you...hiking, climbing mountains, meditation, astro-photography...whatever.

That beer commercial is wrong...the most interesting man in the world doesn't hang out in bars. He does amazing, adventurous, horizon-expanding things without the ra-ra cheering of social media followers. People paying attention to him is peripheral and unnecessary. He does it for himself and no-one else.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby EddieS » Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:47 pm

stion is... Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?



I see 4 questions there.

1) yes, you missed heaps. Does it matter? Not in the slightest. Why? Because the best time to create regrets is after your teens. Its much easier to recover from fuck ups if you have some sort of education and or training.

2) it never gets better. Because tomorrow never comes. Yesterday is just a memory. Now is all you have.

3) doesn't matter if you're doing it right or wrong. You are doing what you are doing. I made up a koan just for you for this: "Do it, or don't do it. But don't don't do it and think you should have done it."

4) yes you are worrying too much. Which is almost as bad as worrying about worrying too much. This is called a vicious circle. :P



Find what makes you laugh pendy. Its easy to get caught up in seriousness. We all do it. Failing that, join the rat race until you have found certainty. Failing that, go parachuting or something, failing that get pissed, failing that, climb mount McKinley or something, failing that, visit a monastery, failing that, go to the Amazon, find a shaman and drink his potion, failing that, failing that..... You get the picture. Society can fuck off. Create your own culture by which to live your life.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby WorldWeary » Mon Sep 21, 2015 11:51 pm

EddieS wrote:
stion is... Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?



I see 4 questions there.

1) yes, you missed heaps. Does it matter? Not in the slightest. Why? Because the best time to create regrets is after your teens. Its much easier to recover from fuck ups if you have some sort of education and or training.

2) it never gets better. Because tomorrow never comes. Yesterday is just a memory. Now is all you have.

3) doesn't matter if you're doing it right or wrong. You are doing what you are doing. I made up a koan just for you for this: "Do it, or don't do it. But don't don't do it and think you should have done it."

4) yes you are worrying too much. Which is almost as bad as worrying about worrying too much. This is called a vicious circle. :P



Find what makes you laugh pendy. Its easy to get caught up in seriousness. We all do it. Failing that, join the rat race until you have found certainty. Failing that, go parachuting or something, failing that get pissed, failing that, climb mount McKinley or something, failing that, visit a monastery, failing that, go to the Amazon, find a shaman and drink his potion, failing that, failing that..... You get the picture. Society can fuck off. Create your own culture by which to live your life.


^ I motherfucking love this post. Carry on.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby HeartofShadows » Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:08 am

If my bullshit rants bore you then read the bolded part and you will feel better immediately.
I would give you a hug but this is a man forum and we don't do that here so we brofist.

In my 20s and from your threads your high school life was definitely better than mine as I spent a lot of time with a select few friends, did a lot of reading, fucking with computers and stupid shit(like playing light saber battles with taco wrappers with friends at taco bell on my prom day).

A lot of the fulfilling high school shit belongs in movies and the chance to dive doesn't really come until after you get out of high school and become more independent.

We all have regrets but Pendragon your life is just beginning and you learned what took many men decades to learn.
You don't have to completely write women out of your life like some of us here but you have the knowledge to be cautious and ready to walk at a moments notice.

You haven't gone to prison, you have not fallen into the student loan debt trap, you aren't in any debt, and you have not gotten a woman pregnant. Chances are the guy you see having the good life living by the script will fall into one of these traps one day and it will change his life from the good times you see.

Just live your life, make decisions and improve it when you think you should and things will fall into place.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Notorious GIT » Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:19 am

Question is... Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?


I like you as much as I guess I like anyone but Ent (he's my special pickle) so I'll be straight with you.

No. You didn't miss shit. Unless you want a life of Tucker Max-esque stories full of fail to entertain your buddies. In which case, go nuts. I mean, I'm not the WORST example you could follow, but there's a damn sight better ones from here you could.
No. Nothing gets better. But, with a cynical asshole attitude, it does get more entertaining. Being able to communicate your enthusiasm (perhaps not willingness, but at least enthusiasm, due to the ever looming threat of incarceration) for harming others who offend you will help with this.
No. If you can convincingly fake be willing to attempt to pretend to give even a fraction of a percentage of a shit, you're not doing it right.
Yes. If you worry at all about anything, you worry too much. To quote (poorly paraphrased no doubt) one of our more illustrious (not sure who it is, but he'd kinda have to be) members, "The mistakes you make are, at worst, for life." And all life as we understand it could end any second. So have fuckin fun.

In short, give no fucks. Nothing matters but mitigating the misery life will heap upon you for no other reason than your maleness. For the sake of any and every moment of levity you can steal from this fucked world, give no fucks ever about anything.
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Before it's finally said and done, as the final bill comes due, you will know:

I am Hell.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby ranome » Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:47 am

Pendragon wrote:One of the guys I shared a room with for the sport (we stayed in a hotel) is almost the exact opposite. He went to the after-homecoming party. Has had a lot of high school flings, smoked, drank himself stupid quite a few times. Has a nice girlfriend etc..

He's doing well to himself in a few areas. Once he gets out of high school I don't think he will have a ton of regrets..


No, I'm sure he won't have any regrets about his high school years. That comes later, when he's chained to that gf because she got pregnant.

You are not missing out on anything worthwhile, but I can see that being in high school (and knowing only what you can see from high school) can make you think that you are. In two short years, when you are out of high school, you will chuckle about how little what happened there matters. You will probably live in a different place, have different friends, and be doing something that will lead to your future. Who is popular in 12th grade will be a distant memory. Oh, and they will be in a different place too, so their popularity in high school will not help them.

You already have what you need to rise above your peers: red pill knowledge. You know the pitfalls at a tender age, and you know what holes not to fall into. Knowing this, you are miles ahead of your peers. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. High school is just the first lap. I don't hear anything in your post about which to be depressed. You've got life by the balls. Keep it that way, and you'll be the rockstar at your reunion, if you can even be bothered to go.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Shining Light » Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:49 am

If there is one pearl of wisdom I can pass down, than let this be it.

Yes, you are missing out and that's fucking dandy. I was where you were in 2011-2012 in my final year of high school. I had friends and I watched their lives goes to shit. One kid, got a girl pregnant, another one got in a car accident. You know what I did? I kept my eyes on getting out of there. I wasn't worry about having sex; I just wanted to leave that school. It gotten to the point that the school tried every fucking method to scare me at the end of the year and it failed.

Shining Lght, if you don't attend this meeting, you will not be able to attend prom.
...
I laughed in the guy face.

Still had to attend that meeting about Graduation in which I didn't go to and as far as I can tell, people are still pissed that I didn't go.

3 years later.

My point is, that whole "YOU NEED TO DO THIS AND HAVE A WILD TEEN LIFE." is full on bullshit. The only thing you need to do is focus on you. Does it get better? I can't give you your that grantee that it does, but as GIT said it does get entertaining.

Ya alright buddy, You in your final year? It's just final year jitters. Everyone gets them. They last until June 8.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Pendragon » Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:04 am

Gah, thanks everyone. The jet lag got to me a little.
I've never been the popular guy... Glad to hear it's arguably worse than being the outsider.

Shining: that's me. I missed a mandiatory college prep meeting because I already know what I'm going to do. It may or may not involve more school. But I'm sure as hell not going somewhere that requires my first house, my first car and my first child as payment for my undergrad.

Ramome: yeah it changes a lot from school to school. I've been to 5-6 different ones. First few times I tried to fit in and be the leader. After a while I gave up. Thank god for younger-class men. Better friends than any in my grade.

GIT: thanks man, means a lot. I don't want to do that at all. I'm done being a puppet. As for giving a fuck... I don't really. I had a 1 point penalty today at the tournament and I asked the judge if I could get a drink or, if that was another point off. He wasn't happy. I placed the best in my group. I will try to exploit more XX chromosome bearing people in the future. I will also discredit the opinions most of XY and XX people as well.

Heart: very true. I have done well and stayed out of trouble. I'm setting the other half of my life up to be more fun than the first half should be.
Between the AI, regenerative medicine and, taking care of myself I may become an immortal mad scientist.

Eddie: good advice. I think I might try to finish a few things I've been working on this year. It beats trying to sneak out and go party. Especially if you are like me and don't really enjoy loud music and drinks in the first place.

World: the only drug I've ever wanted to do was DMT and only once when I'm a lot older. I think I live a very active life I just was wondering what the flip side was like... Evidentially it's not that good, gets repetitive as well.
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I can't find hope in the present, if we changed the past could I find hope for the future?

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Re: I am a loser.

Postby xtc » Tue Sep 22, 2015 1:57 am

I've had friends who were wild in their youth. Looking back on it, they claim it wasn't as good as it's made out to be.
You may be more popular than you think. Everyone is a bit odd in their own heads. Most people probably think you're fairly normal and fairly cool.

You have plenty of time to be wild. Try it in college. I think you should try it.

I've been to a few 'wild parties' and whatnot. I heard someone describing this awesome party they went to and I thought it sounded amazing and wished I had been. Turned out it was the stupid lame party I was at. They just told a better story. Same case with a lot of this stuff. No one is going to tell a story of how they had unsatisfying sex with a 4, made themselves feel incredibly ill with excessive drink, and were intensely bored with smalltalk at a party. No, they had crazy monkey sex with this hot chick, went mad and had a fantastic time at the party and connected with some really cool guys.

In my mid thirties I have pretty much 'made it' in life. I paid my dues in the teens and twenties. I'm really getting paid now for the sacrifices I made then. Now I host my own crazy parties. And they are properly crazy. I'm planning one at the moment. I've hired a troop of dwarfs and a team of hula girls to appear at various points. I've got an internationally famous magician to circulate doing close-up magic. I've hired a 1,500 acre country estate with a 20 bedroom mansion for a long weekend. Half the guests are smoking hot girls in their early twenties who have been told to make sure to bring their bikinis. The other half are genuinely interesting and successful men in their thirties I've picked up over the years.

The clowns from back in high school won't be coming. Even if they could, I'm not sure their call centres and fast food outlets would give them the time off.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby do not disturb » Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:30 am

I'm 60, and when i think back to my high school days the biggest regret i have was TRYING TO FIT IN

trying to be popular, wanting people there to like me, wanting to be with the in crowd, and to be a cool guy

When i look back at how i was it makes me want to puke, because i was so influenced by that phoney environment that it had lasting negative effects on me for years to come

Of course it would have helped if i had some better guidance to show me that being yourself no matter what others think would have gotten me all the respect i wanted back then, instead of trying to be like the other assholes who sensed i was trying to fit in where i didn't feel comfortable, and all that resulted was getting picked on

I wish i could go back and bitch slap the shit out of myself for being such a dipshit, it would make it easier to forgive myself
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby ubermensch » Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:15 am

You've found TRP whilst in high school. You can now play the game of life in cheat mode. Every day is a gift - live it to the fullest.

Really, you just don't know how lucky you truly are ...
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Grayscale » Tue Sep 22, 2015 8:46 am

Bro, I wish I had your insight and intellect when I was your age and in high school.

I mean, I always knew something was a bit off, but could never quite put my finger on it.

Back then I was considered one of the popular kids during that time (even though in my mind I felt quite square). I was an athlete, got good grades, always kept a cutie around and eventually made it to the best university in my state. Looking back, none of it meant much, because it wasn't until I got to college that I really began to discover who I really was, and what I wanted out of life. That insight I mentioned earlier? Only became slightly clearer. Finally in my mid-twenties I was able to start forming the perspective that I have currently.

Don't get caught up in what you missed, because it's all trivial. Those kids who partied hard, abused drugs, lived sexually carefree, and acted as if time was infinite will more likely than not have to face huge reality checks. How do I know? Because I ran with those same dudes in my younger years. What are they up to now? Let's see.....paying child support, living check to check, trying to curtail baby-mama drama, working mediocre gigs or simply trying to find employment, and/or still up to the same ol' shit. They used to clown me for hitting the books instead of hitting the weed (and yeah I did smoke, but not all the time--approaching burnout status), but now I get the last laugh. What I'm trying to say is that all that stuff seemed like fun, but it was all shallow...purposeless if you will.

Continue to stay on your course, because you're FAR FAR ahead of the curve. It's like you put in the Contra code for 30 lives while everyone else is trying to manage the initial 3 lives given. With your 30, you're able to beat the game while the others will be lucky to get past the first boss.

And to piggyback on what others have said, DO WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU AND DON'T EVER SACRIFICE THAT. No one can tell you what's cool and what isn't because they aren't walking in your shoes. If you enjoy reading then keep expanding your mind! If you enjoy golfing then "git gud" for lack of lame phrases. Something tells me that you feel this way because you haven't seen the tables turn yet....give it time. Once all your hard work and dilligence pays off in the form of a healthy salary, the women will start knocking your door down and kneeling in front of you, your options will expand exponentially, and your freedom will taste that much sweeter. Then, it'll all make sense.

Stay the course.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Calloway » Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:08 am

Pendragon,

I felt a lot of what you felt while I was in high school. Thank God high school only lasts 4 years! Life gets immensely more entertaining afterwards.

Pendragon wrote:Did I really miss anything?


Only you can answer this. I didn't go to my high school prom. Some people would say I missed it. Instead, I went out with some buddies and we had a fun night that included his car rolling down his parents driveway and getting stuck in a ditch, and the hilarious antics of 4 18-year-olds trying to get it out. To this day, we can't talk about that without laughing. Sure beats the guy who got his girlfriend pregnant after prom and wound up having to get married, and now hates his life.

Pendragon wrote:Does it get better?


No matter what stage of life you are in, you'll have highs and lows. You are just in a low period right now. It's every bit as temporary as the high periods.

To me, college and my work-life now is far better than high school. So, my answer would be yes, it gets better.

For example, a few months ago, I bought a motorcycle. I didn't have to ask anyone permission, I just went and did it. I couldn't have done that in high school.

Pendragon wrote:Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?


You're just worrying too much. No one can define if you're doing things "right".

A few years after my divorce, I met a very sweet girl of a different race and we started dated. My parents would have had a fit - had they known. They would have never approved of her because of her race. But they can't define what is right for me. Just like I can't tell you what is right for you.

Pendragon wrote:I don't want validation it's just I have nowhere else that I feel I can voice any of this.


Don't worry about it. Everybody asks "Am I Normal?", especially during the high school years. The best answer I've ever heard for that question is - "Yes, for you, you are a very normal you."
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Merlin » Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:50 am

do not disturb wrote:I'm 60, and when i think back to my high school days the biggest regret i have was TRYING TO FIT IN


Abso-fucking-lutely!

I never tried to fit with one group in high school. The early years were shit but by the time I was a senior things were a lot better. I was studying quantum physics in Honors Physics and blew out the grading curve. Pissed off our valedictorian during that segment because the poor kid got a B. I had stoner friends that I would get high with every once in a while, I had 4 different girl friends and never committed to one. I even got a varsity letter. Didn't even realize until it came in the mail.

All of that happened because I stopped giving a shit what people thought of me and did my own thing. I took classes that I wanted, dated who I wanted, and participated in activities that I wanted. I had a few friends from each of the 'clicks' in high school even though that was supposed to be forbidden.

After high school I kept up with doing my own thing and learned about computers (back then they were still very new). Today I own my own computer/networking business. In between high school and today I've been to several dozen countries and met some very cool people. Also had some very cool (and some terrifying) experiences.

The only time that I was not on my own path was when I was tied down to some twat! I did that to myself more times than I care to think about.

What a lot of people have told you here is correct. Do it your way. Does it get better? Only you can judge that and change that. The moment you worry about what someone else thinks about you, that is the moment you surrender control. If you don't like something about yourself, change it, but do it for you!
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Pointerman » Tue Sep 22, 2015 9:56 am

Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?


The only reason I am even posting on this thread with all the great replies is for a different perspective to give you.

I was the guy that was wild in high school. I was at every party, every social event and had a great time.

Looking back I don't know why at all. I think it might of been because of the size of the town I grew up in (600 people) so everyone was there anyway otherwise it would just be two people probably.

Did you miss out on anything?

Depends on your idea of a good time. Where I grew up at, parties were usually in a large field where people pulled up our vehicles around a bonfire, everyone turned their radio to the same station and we sat around and had a couple beers.

Are you doing things right?

Yup. As a father myself, I feel you are on the right track. It is the same one I am trying to guide my own son down.

Are you worrying too much.

Short answer is yes. You have stated several times that you are a introvert. While that is good for deep thinking, it can cause you to thing about things too much. Learn not only to not give a fuck but learn the cathartic expression of "fuck it".

Most of all what you need to remember is to be YOUR own man. Not what someone else thinks you should be.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby KingofWisdom » Tue Sep 22, 2015 10:28 am

Honestly, every time I screw up, reminding myself that I've never been divorce raped makes me feel a lot better. I'm not the type of person who tries to make friends. If no one reaches out to me, the friendship just doesn't happen, and I am okay with that. People are flaky and generally aren't worth your time. I used to feel lonely, but part of that was just blue pill society telling me I should feel bad for not having friends. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything.

My life has gotten infinitely better since leaving school and joining the workforce. It feels good to be in an environment where people want my help and look forward to working with me. I hated college more than high school because the teachers are really just talking at you. You're not learning anything interesting or practical either, and there are far too many BS classes you have to take which are completely unrelated to your college major. Too much fact memorization, not enough critical thinking. I hated all the group work, powerpoint presentations, and standardized testing.

As has been said, if you feel you missed out on smoking the herb, and getting drunk, not to fret, you have your whole life ahead of you to experiment with these sorts of things. Stop measuring your self-worth by how many people you have in your life. People come and go. You can never be happy this way. The same way you don't measure yourself by how much pussy you get, you have to realize that your value as a person does not come from how many friends you have. The more time I spend with other people, the more I enjoy my own company. It's annoying dealing with the sorts of people at work who get offended if you don't socialize with them. Find a hobby. Enjoy being your own person.
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Last edited by KingofWisdom on Tue Sep 22, 2015 11:04 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby captainhaddockghost » Tue Sep 22, 2015 10:42 am

Pendragon, just remember this: the things you want in your life right now WILL change in future.

I guess you are still in school. But, that feeling of having a girl like you, being the popular player, PROVING to your classmate your worth... all these stuffs will be as important to you as going to a candystore and buying 10 cents of candy and eat it in less than 10 years. Its not a matter of whether those will last. Its a matter of importance. When you grow up totally, which usually happens after you hit 25 and after you have left collage, you will be ashamed that you ever thought these stuffs could be important to you.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Demosthenes » Tue Sep 22, 2015 11:02 am

Pendragon wrote:Basically I have given up on women before I have even finished high school. I haven't adventured with people (not for lack of trying), haven't smoked anything, never snuck out, and haven't even had anything to drink except some wine.


Doing drugs and experimenting - not a huge deal. I never experimented with the stuff and I've never been one for dulling my senses. now thee's some stuff that will crank you up, sure, but when you're already dealing with long term insomnia - meh.

Now the sneaking out thing - not as big a deal as just staying the fuck out. My parents were lenient int hat I could stay out to when the fuck ever as long as my grades were up and my work at home (chores) were done, and as long as it didn't impact other things I was responsible for.

One of the guys I shared a room with for the sport (we stayed in a hotel) is almost the exact opposite. He went to the after-homecoming party. Has had a lot of high school flings, smoked, drank himself stupid quite a few times. Has a nice girlfriend etc..


I don't remember most of the people I hung out with way back, but they were good times without getting drunk and without getting amped up or fucked up on drugs.

Oh, and once you're of drinking age - the whole 'drinking thing just becomes boring. You can do it legally then sure. Enjoy it, just don;t fuck yourself up over it. Puking one's guts out should not be a goal to strive for.

He's doing well to himself in a few areas. Once he gets out of high school I don't think he will have a ton of regrets.. I know I will have wished I had a few things happen that I was just to shy/didn't have enough connections to do. I never have been to a party where sex and drinks and drugs are openly present. The last party I went to was the most boring thing I have ever attended.


Still being under parental authority limits many teens. I wouldn't worry about it. Better days will come.

I know that sex is over-rated... I know drugs and alcohol are as well but I really feel I missed out on the fun part of high school. I feel that I may have been a little too wrapped up in my studies/projects/the Internet. I still don't have many friends in the school. My closest friend is just a guy I see at the karate class I help see, have his number but we don't talk much.


High School is a societal shit test for older young adults. Overall, modern public education is just day care teens.

Sorry for the depressing post. I don't feel blue pill twinges, I just kinda wish I experienced a little more (I know, I still have all year to go crazy but I feel that I really wouldn't want to go to those parties more than once anyways. I'm an introvert. I play fucking golf, I teach an obscure tech club. I'm no alpha. I have a good body and can defend myself from almost anyone but I don't have the aditude of an alpha bad boy thug.)

The guy who has done all that... He's shorter than me, less well built, seems less confident.. All it seems is he chose the 'right' group at the start of high school. Hell, I talked with him about this topic yesterday and he feelt that I was a lot more popular than I ever felt. I've had one girlfriend, never did anything with her and I honestly can't say I've made one life-long friend from that place.

If I had the option to be king of the place or burn it I would most likely burn it.


I moved around a ton. None of my friends in high school became the media programmed lifelong friend scenario that would always be there (made popular by tv and movies). Yes, it happens some. To me, it's bullshit.





/rant.

Question is... Did I really miss anything? Does it get better? Am I doing things right, am I worrying way too much?
I don't want validation it's just I have nowhere else that I feel I can voice any of this. I tried school councilers, they suck ass (because they are poorly trained 20 some women who are still on the carosell and don't give a shit about non-alpha teen boys) so I figured that the guys here would be my best option, you have been here before or, you were the other guy.

Thanks...


You haven't missed much. It's only High School. You endured the daily grind of young adult day care and got out. Waste worry on things worth worrying about. Many things we worry over wind up being of the moment worries we placed to much emphasis upon. Putting a proper perspective over worry (STRESS) will help a lot now, and down the road.

Don't define yourself by what you're not. Define yourself by who and what you are and if there is something still missing, change that for yourself. Just be willing to be honest with yourself. That means not judging too easily yes, but it also means not judging yourself too harshly. And be careful of how you apply someone else's standard of life to yours. The standard you need to apply to you is your own.
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Women don't owe men anything. Not a smile. Not sex, Not even empathy or compassion. Men don't owe women anything either. Not interest. Not resources. And definitely not commitment or children.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby fester » Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:47 pm

You are a winner.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Pendragon » Tue Sep 22, 2015 2:51 pm

fester wrote:You are a winner.

I tried to write that "am I a looser"

Thanks though XD
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby LaffingNow » Tue Sep 22, 2015 3:17 pm

No. And stop second guessing yourself. Will you be eagerly attending any upcoming reunions?

There you have your answer.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby Dudeist Priest » Tue Sep 22, 2015 11:20 pm

Pendragon wrote:Question is... Did I really miss anything?


Weed is the fucking shit dude. Gotta love da herb. Edibles are fantastic.
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Re: I am a loser.

Postby hasmat » Wed Sep 23, 2015 8:24 am

You're too young to worry about that stuff.

Now is the time to be relishing life and doing what you want to do.

For right now, just concentrate on not fucking it up. Sounds like you have the tools to do that.

More people make bad decisions based on low self esteem than anything else. Don't fall for that trap.

As someone who was a virgin until 18 or so, and making up for it in spades later, you aren't missing anything there.
Stay away from drugs if you aren't in a good state of mind. I've smoked enough weed to make Willy Nelson look like a piker.
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You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power - he's free again.

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Re: I am a loser.

Postby dubya » Wed Sep 23, 2015 8:48 am

Don't overthink things and don't try to be flawless.

There's more to see and experience than anybody can in 1 lifetime, everybody's path is a little different, don't waste your time on regrets, instead vector yourself towards the experiences you want to have.

High School doesn't end, it just goes on till you die.

I'm 42, I still feel like the kid I was at 15, except I see a middle-aged man in the mirror.

If I want to smoke weed I can, if I want to party I can, if I want to have sex I can, there's nothing stopping me from going out and saying, "this is my prom" and renting a limo and hanging out with a bunch of retards, getting drunk and puking on myself.

Be your own person and do whatever you want, even if other people think it's bad or stupid, "rules" are mostly psychological, there's hardly ever a long-term consequence for anything.

In high school I ran with the wrong crowd, we did robberies, some of my buddies did time, I got lucky, either way I still see some of those guys around, most of em have "respectable" jobs now, families, kids, mortgages. I dropped out of high school and started working full-time when I was around your age. Eventually got my GED and went to college, started working for real.

If I could go back I wouldn't change anythijng, I don't care what other people think about my past, I did what I wanted and had fun.

Like I said, there's hardly ever a long-term consequence for anything.

If I told you half the shit I did, you'd call me a liar. I've gotten high-level positions in prestigious banks with falsified degrees and job histories. My old boss was a true psychopath, this guy would get us all hired as "consultants" (we barely knew our ass from our elbow) for astronomical fees and pay the Director who hired us a kickback.

That was my REAL education, college is mostly a fraud, you get it for the paper, as a passport to bigger and better things, the education you can get by reading a few books. You also want to make and maintain personal connections, it's not about WHAT you know, it's about WHO you know.

What you should have learned so far ;

1. No regrets
2. There are hardly ever long-term consequences for anything
3. Change your direction based on what you want to do and experience
4. High school never ends
5. Don't try to be perfect
6. The world is corrupt.
7. You're only a loser if you're following other people's lives and not doing what you want.

Be brutal.
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