all_in_chocolate wrote:The closest that I ever came to getting married was a girl I dated during my senior year in high school and part of college. I thought I was going to marry this girl. However, being the traditionalist that I was, I didn’t want to ask her to marry me until I finished college and was able to support her and a family.
Well, with the distance in college, we fell into a bit of a patchy spot after a while. Rather than fix it, I let it slide for a time. Nonetheless, I could have easily saved the relationship. At the end, I even planned to save it. I knew her well. I went to her place. I said the right things. She responded exactly like I knew she would. But, when it came time to close the deal and put us back on firm ground, I just couldn’t do it. I had pushed all the right buttons, and I knew exactly what to say... and I didn’t say it. The moment of truth came, and I just couldn’t let go of the opportunity to walk away.
So that’s what I did.
A lifetime of mainstream upbringing and propaganda had taught me how devastated I should feel. I knew that I should be depressed about it, nostalgic, wistful, and broken-hearted. So, goddammit, I did my level best to feel bad.
But as I drove away, all I could feel was eagerness at being on my own hook. The enlivening sensation of “me against the world” saturated my mind once more. No more “us.” No more stress over petty trivialities and contrived drama. Just me, standing on my own, an independent man determined and hungry to make something of himself in the vast world before me.
“...man never mounts higher, than when he knows not whither he is going” –Oliver Cromwell
That feeling is motherfucking invigorating.
It took me a long time to figure out, but that feeling is my natural state. I crave it.
Are all men like this? I don’t know. How do other men feel when their long term relationships break off? Am I abnormal in feeling relief and renewed vigor?
With each success I have, with each difficulty I overcome, I find new challenges and new wars to wage, new worlds to conquer.
A man is a highly evolved organism. Cleverness. Fortitude. Perseverance. Intensity. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about physical conflict, athletics, problem solving, learning some skill, or coping with adversity, the fundamental traits of masculinity are well-suited to those struggles. Resilient. Tough. Adaptable. Man is built to thrive in an ambiguous and changing world.
A man should glory in his own power to apply these attributes. They are his very essence.
As my wrestling coach would say, “Be brutal.” It doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to pin an opponent or studying calculus. Be brutal.
Some of the old guys on this forum have taken it in the teeth. They’re like the old bulls, covered with scars from past battles, but still standing proud and owning their pastures.
Some of the younger guys are figuring it out early, solving their problems to best define and own their existences.
Many here say the world is a cesspool. They want to see it burn. It’s understandable to despise your nemesis.
Personally, I think this world fucking rocks. It fed me bullshit as a child, but I figured out how to see through it. It tried to hold me down and mold me to its purposes, but I learned to effectively defy it. I discovered and created my own perspective and path despite its best efforts. It may be a cesspool, but what would my manhood be if there were no hardships, lies, and unfairness to pit my adaptability against? How could I defiantly assert my creativity if the status quo offered only good and intelligent solutions?
How can you glory in your own manhood, if there is nothing that requires you to assert it?
“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” —Thomas Paine
I didn’t have a choice of environments to be born into, but I’ll take this one and carve out a life that would make the gods jealous. I say bring on the world. Let it take its best shot, and I’ll give it a beating it won’t believe.
Because that’s what I am.
^^ Some people make charts and graphs to define MGTOW.
|--------THIS IS MGTOWMasculine spirituality
I've said it before and I'll say it again : Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me, and it was worth every fucking penny. I paid 13 grand and it is a bargain. When that woman left my life, I spent 7 years in a pit of depression, drinking. Was it because I loved her? Was it because I missed her? No. It was because I was THAT ego-invested in a particular outcome, and that invested in the Disney narrative of "finding your soulmate." My life was shattered not because I was heartbroken over a person, but because I was heartbroken over a false narrative.
It's like when you're 5 and someone tells you Santa isn't real.
Buddy boy, love is verb, not a noun.
It's not something that you're "in" it's something that you choose to do, usually to your detriment in the short term, but as you get older you look back on this stuff with fondness and laugh at yourself.
My first girlfriend was Alexis Rosoff. She was the first girl I kissed and let me tell ya, I loved her, objectively she was nothing special, a 17 year old vaguely chubby Jewish girl, but she "understood me." The internet was in its infancy in those days, but we were both computer nerds, she broke up with me over TELNET. At the time I felt horrible for days, and I kinda regretted the $12 worth of movie tickets I had spent on her. Now I look back and it's just so silly and sweet. I was such a little dumbass back then.
Thru adversity we are forged from the clay of being boys to the steel of being men.
Fast forward to a couple years later when I was the one breaking someone's heart, hearing her crying, clutching my hand, "Greg don't leave me." It hurt like hell to walk away, I felt like I was abandoning someone, I had never felt so alone. But I had to, there was no future in that relationship, walking away was the right thing, the honorable thing.
Just like my ex-wife walking away was the right thing, the honorable thing. She could have faked it, sat there for years pretending to be
my soulmate, but she had more integrity than that, but I didn't have the maturity to see it that way, I saw it as "You're abandoning me, you scum of the Earth, didn't our vows mean anything?"
"Real" failure is better than fake "success." Because it's real. And honorable. And necessary.
You won't understand this until you find yourself feeling alone IN a relationship. The relationship only exists because you don't have the money, and she doesn't have the balls, to leave. So there you are, by yourself, with another person. Can't even go take a 3 day vacation to cheer yourself up, cuz the ball and chain is like "Where are you? I made meatloaf."
"...and that's when I killed her, your honor."
It also explains my pathological hatred of meatloaf.
Brother let me tell you.
Whenever I take "breaks" from women, that's when my world opens up, I feel like I'm on an alien planet seeing things I never noticed before, like trees swaying, morning fog, the pitter-patter of summer rain, I feel at one with nature.
The nice thing about women appropriate to my age (30-35ish) is, they don't have every player in the galaxy throwing themselves at her, so they're alot easier to please and alot more down-to-earth. Every woman I get involved with nowadays knows that I need space. Sometimes I won't pick up my phone for a couple days, I need space to be
myself, to laugh, to play, to goof off, to feel like a man.
My girlfriend knows that I don't respond to the meatloaf whistle. "Dinner's ready" Great I hope you enjoy it, I'll be
at Mike's place, love you, byeeee.
The JOY of being a man :
You're practically invisible and no one cares what you do.
You could be
passed out naked on your front lawn : no one cares.
If you were a woman there'd be
30 squad cars, "ma'am are you ok? Are you injured?" Did I ask you people to wake me up? GET OFF MY LAWN.
"Thinking" doesn't solve problems, it just creates more.
Like if I say to you the word, "Sweden" what pops into your mind? Fat lesbians, crazy laws, misandric oppression, etc.
But if I magically teleport us to Stockholm for the evening? Friendly people, good food, fun and laughter.The less you care, the less it matters.
Stop overthinking it.
No one cares what you do.
That. Is. Freedom.
View life and love thru an empty mind.
Rest, work, eat, play, dream, build, destroy.
The world is yours.